3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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