apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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