so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize
