just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
