And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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