Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
