If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
