I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
