She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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