Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize