dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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