Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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