Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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