"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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