dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
