We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i now understand why vodka
Fuck me I smell like cheese
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
