Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
