I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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