yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
