How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Still dying that you shit outside
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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