I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
