If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
