i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
