I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
