im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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