I must be too annoying 4 u.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize