What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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