me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
