He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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