I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Two words: blizzard sex
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