Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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