from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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