THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
