C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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