"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
