I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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