The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
