College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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