Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
