the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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