Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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