She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
