I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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