She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I would fuck him just for his dog
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
