Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
