I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
That accounts for only three of the penises
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
