You just made me feel so damn special
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
