exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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