I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
