I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
