What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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