There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
