my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
wow bdsm is so cute
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
