He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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