All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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