If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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