therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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