I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we're making bets on your personal life
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
