How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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