But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
