one two three fourrrrnication!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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