maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
