I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
