Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
