I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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