I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
