Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
