You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
