yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize