She said her name was "party"
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
