I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
