If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We have started to decorate penises.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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