Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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