My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
