i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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