Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
even my farts smell like vagina
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
